Off Topic Rant

So for some idiotic reason, I watched the end of that horrific train-wreck of a Red Sox-Yankees game last night. As I sat stunned and sullen, I heard that moron Joe Morgan say "There were a lot of subtle things that happened in this game, things that Joe Torre initiated." What an idiotic comment, seriously. First of all, he makes this mysterious, "I know so much about baseball" comment about "subtle" occurences without mentioning one such occurence. He did this for one of two reasons: 1) we simpletons who are clearly not as smart as Joe Morgan wouldn't understand how incredibly subtle some of Joe Torre's moves were, or 2) he didn't have any in mind, he was just making shit up to sound smart. I'm goin' with #2.

Yeah, let's look at some of Joe Torre's genius, subtle moves, like Mike Timlin forgetting how to pitch. That's great managing right there. Oh and Derek Jeter getting that flared double off te end of the bat- I mean that was all Joe Torre. Brilliant! And Steroid Giambi crushing that meatball over everything in right to give the Yankees a 3-2 lead--- wow, I could sense the Joe Torre-induced subtlety dripping out of the television. And the Red Sox not being able to score with the bases loaded in the 9th off of Mariano FREAKING Rivera, the greatest closer of all time? I mean that was all Joe Torre's brilliant maneuvering.

Poor Joe Torre has such a hard job.

"Hmm, I think now that I have the best leadoff hitter in the game, I'll put the Best Clutch Hitter in the game 2nd in the line up, and hmm... tonight, I'll play the Arguably Best Hitter of his Generation at DH. And One of the Great Sluggers In the Game (Cheater or Not)? Let's bat him fourth. Oh, and if it gets tricky in the ninth inning, here's a great idea--- I'm going to put in THE GREATEST CLOSER IN THE HISTORY OF BASEBALL. BRILLIANT!"

Don't get me wrong, I have respect for Joe Torre and his ability to steer the Yankee ship and manage all those egos. But Joe Torre did not win that game for the Yankees last night. Here's what did, in no particular order:

-David Ortiz (god love him) running to 2nd base in the 9th inning, taking the bat out of Manny's hands
-Kevin Youkilis's inability to get the bunt down (I know I know, the next pitch was a wild pitch.., that works like a bunt right? NO, because then a wild pitch would have SCORED a run.)
-The decision to bunt with Yook to begin with. Obviously, as we found out, they walk Lowell in that situation, putting the game in the hands of... Gabe Krapler/Eric Hinske, and Doug Mirabelli. Maybe the thought that they'd IBB Lowell never crossed Tito's mind. Or maybe he's just got a lot of faith in his boy Douggie. Either way, that's plain stupidity.
-Mike Timlin forgetting how to pitch
-Doug Mirabelli's inability to call a game, which is linked with:
-Curt Schilling tossing a meatball to BALCO Giambi to let the Yankees take the lead
-The Red Sox lack of guts/killer instinct with the bases loaded in several situations
-Craig Hansen's 96 MPH heat sure was effective against the Georgetown Hoyas, but somehow it doesn't work against the New York Yankees.
-Derek Jeter. The guy is fucking incredible.
-Mariano Rivera. Ditto.
-The Yankees are a better team than the Red Sox, in every conceivable way.


Yeah. Sure. That was all Joe Torre. If someone wants to please tell me one subtle thing that happened that Joe Torre was behind, please do. All I can seem to remember is Giambi crushing a ball, Jeter being Jeter, and Rivera being Rivera as the reasons why the Yankees won. And don't say "putting Mariano Rivera in the game," because frigging Willy could have made that managerial move.


Oh, and I don't want to hear about the Yankees injuries. Really, I don't. Look at their fucking lineup! Christ. Fuck the Yankees. And fuck the Red Sox, too.

OK, I'm done being mad. I'm in Spirit mode now. Go Spirit. Let's do it.