Saturday, April 28, 2007

DeVries Leaves Spirit To Pursue Acting Career

In a stunning development, former Spirit great Jon DeVries has reportedly left the North Shore Spirit, a team in which he dominated the CanAm League as a power hitter that hit for average too, to pursue his dream of being a D-List Actor. As this blog was first to report, Jon had been slated to perform in the 2008 production of Guerrilla in the lead role as Ron Ittout, the lovable, greasy-haired teddy bear revolutionary from Argentina who travels to New York City to discuss Running It Out with the United Nations and its impact on his war-torn country. This blog got the inside scoop of the new movie, gaining possesion of one of Jon's scenes with the United Nations during the climax of the movie:

[Ron Ittout:] Nations! Listen to me! You must see the importance of running it out!


[Ron Ittout:] I WILL NOT STAND DOWN! Running it out may be an expected occurence in your country, but you do not understand the truth about running it out in the great nation of Argentina!

[UN Speaker:] STAND DOWN, SIR!

[Ron Ittout:] NO SIR! YOU STAND DOWN! The truth must be heard!

[UN Speaker:] We all know the truth!


[UN Speaker:] Explain yourself, sir!

[Ron Ittout:] In my country, running it out is seen as a luxury, not a right to the people. There are children in the streets, sir, CHILDREN, without even the chance to make their families proud by running it out! Just think of what this can do to the morale of a people, sir! Think of it! Our nation is crumbling in front of our very eyes!

[UN Speaker:] ...You are so wise, are like a miniature buddha, covered with hair...

[Ron Ittout:] Thank you, sir.

[UN Speaker:] We shall put together a full investigation into the walking it out in Argentina. We shall fix this! You're nation shall be saved!

[Ron Ittout:] Oh, sorry, were you saying something? I was too busy not running it out.

[UN Speaker:] Why, yes, I was just saying how we will save your country from its running it out crisis.

[Ron Ittout:] Oh, that? I was just joshin' you with that, playa'.

[UN Speaker:] What?!

[Ron Ittout:] Yeah, playa', Fo' real, dawg, I just be playin'. We fine.

{Roll Credits}

So there you have it!
Jon DeVries and his new film, Guerrilla. Be sure to show up in theaters and support this former Spirit great in his new, almost certainly successful career!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Medication could probably help You with that Grant...

Wow!, Too much time on your hands?